Of Bathrooms and Burns
by scarletvoid
Summary: When seven year old Naruto came to, he understood three things. One, he was on fire - literally. Two, he was standing in an unfamiliar bathroom, inches away from a full, freezing bath. Three, in the doorway, there was a one-eyed, grey-haired man staring right at him. "…Why are you in my bathroom?" Old habits really do die hard. AU! Short Chapters!
1. 1

**_This is honestly just a challenge given to me by a friend: Write a fanfic that has no planning - just write as you go. That said, this could either go really good or really horrible, so be warned._**

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Summary: When seven year old Naruto came to, he understood three things. One, he was on fire - literally. Two, he was standing in an unfamiliar bathroom, inches away from a full, freezing bath. Three, in the doorway, there was a one-eyed, grey-haired man staring right at him. "…Why are you in my bathroom?" Old habits really do die hard. AU.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

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 _Kurama's element is fire… This changes things for young Naruto, who inherits the fox's will over the destructive flames…_

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The first time five year old Naruto Uzumaki met Shino Aburame, they were both in a playground. Or rather, under the trees behind it, where the parents couldn't see anything but the vague glimpses of their child under thick, green foliage. This in particular was a great spot for young Naruto, as he found that usually parents wouldn't let their child touch him with a seven foot pole. It was perfect to make friends in a more private place as they could easily stumble from the playground and find him.

Similarly, Shino had wanted seclusion from inquisitive eyes as he searched the earth for bugs. Many girls and boys his age had already expressed their disgust for the insects, and Shino was more than happy to move from the edge of the sandbox to the trees that stood on richer soil.

He hadn't expected to find a boy already there, with sky blue eyes, golden spiky hair and a love for dramatics and hideous orange jumpsuits. He definitely didn't expect for the boy to force him to sit a give his opinion on said blond's problems.

"People often say to me… why are you in my bathroom," he said. "Really, it's not my fault I burst into flames while unconscious and sleepwalk my way into someplace with water."

"… what." Shino said, bewildered.

"I know!" Naruto exclaimed, taking his answer as agreement. "I mean, of course I'm gonna have to cool off! Like, what - do they expect me to shrug and say, 'bah, better keep on burning, then. Just an accident, after all.' Well they won't take it as an accident when a whole block gets burnt down because I couldn't get into some water!"

Shino blinked.

Naruto, taking Shino's blink as incredulousness towards the people Naruto was talking about, nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, I know," he agreed seriously, throwing his hands up in a show of exasperation. "I mean, it's not like I can control it! Wait, that's a great idea - I'll learn to control it and be the strongest Hokage ever! Thanks - er, what's your name, again?"

Shino tilted his head, thinking he hadn't given his name in the first place. "I'm Shino Aburame."

"Cool!" The blond shouted. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki, future Hokage! Nice to meet you, Shino!"

The dark-haired boy inclined his head. "It's a pleasure, Uzumaki-san."

"Call me Naruto," he replied, grinning broadly, oblivious to how Shino was edging away with a wary look to his eyes. "I'm certain we'll be great friends!"

"Yes, there's a chance of that, Naruto-san," Shino assured him politely, though uncomfortable and wanting to leave; this blonde was very emotional, border lining on Ino's level, and he did not need two Ino Yamanakas in his life.

He was mortified when he saw tears of happiness form in Naruto's eyes. "Shino…" the blond sniffed, rubbed his nose, and threw himself at the frozen Aburame, crocodile tears flowing. "Screw that, we'll be _best_ friends!"

Feeling severely awkward, Shino tried prying Naruto off of him and had no success as the blond started to laugh through his tears and twirl the both of them, flamboyantly telling Shino about all the fun they'd have together.

"No, no, no," Shino repeated through the gap of Naruto's arm, struggling with gusto. The other boy didn't seem to hear him as he continued his tirade: "-and are you joining the Academy? Oh, I can't wait-"

"Please let go of me."

"-to meet everyone else and learn all those cool jutsu! I bet our teacher-"

"Naruto-san, it will be very beneficial to both you and I if you let me go."

"-is going to be a real strong ninja! What do you think?"

Shino sighed.

…From Naruto's perspective, at least, it was the start of a beautiful friendship.


	2. 2

**2\. Life for Shino and Naruto in small snippets**

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Shino came to quickly understand that Naruto had either no conception of personal boundaries, or he ignored them with the passion of a thousand suns. This was also quickly becoming known in their small class in the Academy as well, despite the first day being only three days ago…

Shino also learnt that Naruto's melodrama towards a certain Uchiha was sadistic - he'd smiled a wicked smile before he'd jumped towards Sasuke the other day… it was like he enjoyed the other boy's discomfort immensely, despite only meeting him a few days ago. He understood that this was probably because of the Uchiha's arrogance towards his classmates, but still… he shivered, remembering being in the same situation.

At that moment, they reached the door to the classroom. "Sasuke~!" Naruto exclaimed with violent happiness, bounding over to the dark-haired boy who sat near the windows of the classroom. The boy turned at the voice and paled rapidly - turning white as a sheet in seconds. He cringed back like Naruto was a foul smell, pulling out a kunai and holding it threateningly at the blond.

"Don't come near me," he said, wild-eyed. "Please, dear kami, do _not_ come near me."

Naruto beamed like the sun and pounced at him, knocking the kunai aside and crushing the other boy in a forceful, tight hug. Sasuke yowled and hissed like a cat, struggling in the blond's arms in vicious desperation. "No-!" he rasped. "I'm going t-to kill you o-one day, I swear!"

Naruto's eyes gushed waterfalls. "Sasuke," he cried, swinging the Uchiha around like he was a rag doll. "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!"

It was a shame, in Naruto's opinion at least, that Sasuke's two main fangirls arrived at that moment.

"Naruto!" They roared like lions, every hair - pink and blonde, separately - on their body standing up in absolute anger. "Leave Sasuke-kun _alone_ , he's _mine_!" They advanced like highly offended hungry predators. Sasuke jerked his head back and forth, looking mortified and no doubt wondering who was worse to be stuck with - Naruto, Sakura, or Ino.

Shino sweat dropped and turned away, shaking his head.

Next to him, a wide-eyed Shikamaru closed his eyes and groaned. "Troublesome."

He'd never heard a more perfect word for a situation such as this.

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"Kami," Shikamaru breathed. He watched as Naruto burnt the training dummy alive, cackling to himself. "Is he alright?"

"It gets worse," Shino murmured, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Don't try to run; it's already too late."

Both glanced at Naruto and shared a haunted look.

* * *

Like Shikamaru, Sasuke soon found himself attending their training sessions against his will.

"No," he said in terror as he watched as Naruto was completely engulfed in white-hot flames. "That's it, I'm dropping down one year. I can't take it anymore."

"Don't try to run," Shikamaru said grimly. "Believe me - I tried. Not worth it. Not even once." Shino nodded in agreement.

All three boys shivered amongst the sounds of cackling fire and hysterical laughter.

… It had only been a week.

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"Hey, Shino?"

"Hm?"

"You think I can stay at yours tonight? My… er, water cut out yesterday—"

"You sleepwalked into someone's house while on fire and woke up in their tub submerged in cold water again, didn't you?"

"Uh… I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"… and they tried to tell the Hokage on you."

"… okay, you got me."

Shino sighed. "Fine, you can stay."

Naruto grinned and assaulted Shino with a tight hug. "Yes! You're the best friend ever! I'm never gonna let you die!"

Shino nearly wept, attempting to edge out of the blond's embrace. "But I already want to die…"

It went ignored. "I can see it! Best friends… _forever_!" His eyes glinted with absolute promise.

A whimper of absolute horror flew from Shino's lips.

* * *

Shino eventually helped Naruto with his bad habit of catching on fire while asleep and with his sleepwalking habit. It was strange really - it was like his body was unconsciously making sure he wouldn't burn the village to the ground. Anyways, the worst part was over. After a few months, Naruto's bad sleeping habits were long gone…

… or so they thought.


	3. 3

**3\. Bathroom shenanigans**

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When seven year old Naruto came to, he understood three things. One, he was on fire - literally. Two, he was standing in an unfamiliar bathroom, inches away from a full, freezing bath. Three, in the doorway, there was a one-eyed, silver-haired man staring right at him. "…Why are you in my bathroom?" There was a glint of recognition in his eyes.

Um… _Awkward_ …

This has got to _stop_ happening to him. Last time he was found naked sitting in someone's sink and that did really not end well _at_ _all_. He'd thought he was over this, but apparently old habits really _do_ die hard.

"That's a good question…" Naruto said evasively.

"… _kai_." Nothing happened. The man stared. "Why are you on fire?" he tried.

Now, normally Naruto's natural response would be to smile widely, laugh to himself and shout something cool like 'because I'm _burnin_ ' hot!' and escape through the window if there was one, but he looked up and spotted the hitai-ate with Konoha's symbol slanted over his forehead and one of his eyes and knew that such a thing would not work on this individual.

"That's… a good question…" Naruto said again, avoiding the grey eye that peered at him indignantly.

"I suppose it is," the stranger said, reaching a hand up to scratch at his masked cheek. "Are you going to answer it anytime soon, though?"

"Uh," Naruto laughed nervously. "No?"

"Oh." There was a silence, smothered by the sound of cackling flames. "Well, okay then."

Naruto coughed awkwardly. "Hey, old man," he called. "You wouldn't know what time it is, would you?"

The old man's eye looked to be twitching. "It's _four_ in the morning," he answered. "And I'm not an old man."

"Oh." Naruto said. "Okay then."

He took a step right and submerged his body in the cold water of the bathtub. The water hissed and bubbled at the contact, the flames dying out in an instant. Steam rose in the air.

The silver-haired man stared with one wide, unblinking eye, one hand once again reaching onto his cheek and scratching it through his mask. "Huh," he hummed thoughtfully.

"Well, I'll be going now." Naruto made for the window and disappeared in a blond blur.

Meanwhile, the silver haired man stared at the bathtub and dipped his finger in. "Hm. Warm. Interesting." he murmured.


End file.
